My father used to tell me:
“Son, you’re like a bull in a china closet.”
At the time, I did not appreciate the observation.
Today, I recognize it as one of the most important leadership lessons I ever received.
Most leadership literature focuses on courage, vision, decisiveness, innovation, and influence.
Those things matter.
But there is another challenge that confronts leaders who have strong personalities, abundant energy, quick minds, and powerful opinions.
The challenge is not getting moving.
The challenge is not running out of ideas.
The challenge is not shrinking back.
The challenge is learning not to overwhelm people.
Some of us are naturally large in a room.
Not physically.
Relationally.
Emotionally.
Verbally.
Energetically.
People feel our presence.
Our enthusiasm fills space.
Our ideas arrive faster than others can process them.
Our words carry more weight than we realize.
And because of that, we can accidentally become bulls in china closets.
Not malicious.
Not domineering.
Not even aware.
Just moving faster and harder than the people around us can comfortably accommodate.
Years ago, my father gave me a warning disguised as a joke.
Today I hear it as wisdom.
Slow down.
Pay attention.
Do the work.
But don’t break everything while you’re doing it.
Why Big-Personality Leaders Struggle
Big-personality leaders often possess remarkable strengths:
Vision
Initiative
Confidence
Passion
Persuasiveness
Momentum
The shadow side of those strengths can be:
Interrupting
Over-explaining
Dominating meetings
Solving problems before listening
Changing direction too frequently
Mistaking speed for effectiveness
Assuming others are tracking at the same pace
The result?
Good intentions.
Damaged trust.
Confused teams.
Exhausted followers.
Further Reflection:
If this theme resonates with you, you may enjoy my recent reflection:
When Compassion Walks on Water
A look at Jesus’ combination of compassion, courage, and servant leadership in Matthew 14.
Substack:
When Compassion Walks on Water -
The central question is remarkably similar:
What does strength look like when it is guided by love rather than ego?
